Well now all my favorite reality shows have come to an end. The last of which was Sunday night's "I Love New York 2 Reunion" on VH1.
Before I get to that madness let's recap the other finales of this past season .. One of which dashed my pick to a heartbroken mess (but the person seeking love got theirs in the end lol) ...
THE SHOT - As I hoped, a lady took the competition. The underdog, Maria (who was often called out for having the least technical experience) won the $10K prize and a contract to shoot for Victoria Secret, much to the dismay of what most considered the most experienced (and least personable) photographer .. a man who's name doesn't even need to be mentioned because a woman won!!! Whoo hoo!! When I get my game tight, I might try to get on the show myself! LOL.
AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST MODEL - The sneaky, underhanded pretty boy VJ (who had less than 6 months of experience modeling) won over experienced Soviet ... Now you KNOW they wouldn't let a Russian win something called AMERICA's Most Smartest Model!
A SHOT AT LOVE (w/ Tila Tequila) - Well in the end ... it came down to one man and one woman for the self-proclaimed bi-sexual pin-up ... the naive hottie named Bobby and the all-American lezzie named Dani. In the end, she chose the beef .. breaking my and Dani's heart in two. By reunion time everyone was over Tila except Dani and when Bobby came out it was like they were homies instead of lovers ... So I wasn't surprised when I read that Tila got dumped just days after the reunion and will hit the MTV airwaves for another SHOT AT LOVE sans Dani. I'm not gay or nothing but Dani needs her own show and if I WAS a lezzie, I'd be signing up! lol.
ANTM (CYCLE 9) - Miss Saleisha won the title, even with that ancient hair cut making her look like a female Beatles member. Though some say she needs relinquish the title because she had prior experience (including a cameo non-speaking part in a Wendy's commercial) .. she never had a NATIONAL CAMPAIGN and was allowed to compete .. So boooo to the haters!
AND NOW ...
.... I LOVE NEW YORK 2!
I must say .. I was kind of disappointed by this Reunion. A preview blog on VH1.com promised penis, blood and a brawl and didn't really deliver any of it.
The show began with La.La re-introducing the men who tried to win New York's heart (or at least the ones who showed up) ... some of which I didn't even remember on the show and some others I'd forgotten about. La-La is looking very old (might have something to do with that Carmelo baby she popped out) and then out comes Miss New York looking like she packed two mini-blimps in her bra. SMH .. when will the implants END????
For most of the show we were reminded of the main players in the show and how they acted in the house and of course, how they were eliminated.
First up on the Freak Parade was that fool named IT, who I swear was on drugs every day of the show. He emerged from the audience with a bag and his draws hanging so far down that I swear he was someone's bitch on Cell Block D. He rambles on about nonsense (as usual) but does show us (much to my surprise) that he CAN talk like a normal person.
But just when I think he's like the rest of us .. he pulls some bricks out of his bag and commences to chop them in half with his bare hands in an effort to show NY that she should've chosen him because he can protect her ... (hell if I knew NY was with IT, I wouldn't go NEAR her ass for fear I'd catch the CRAZY) ..
I think he had blood on his hand (which may have been the blog reference in the preview blog) .. I dunno .... IT ended his extra 10 minutes of fame by presenting NY with a small box of cold fries (he had an explanation, but seriously .. who cares?) ... SMGDH ..
Next up was CHAMPION .. who was cut in one of the very first episodes. He was a Mama's Boy who seemed to be way more into Sister Patterson than NY (which is why he got eliminated).
On that episode, he and S.P. left together and at this wayward reunion, he came down from the audience and sucked face with S.P. right there in front of NY.
According to S.P., Champion didn't make it through the show but he MADE IT with her . NY flipped out and left the stage during the makeout session but came back to confront the couple. S.P. and Champion swore it was real love and then off he went ...
I've seen photos of S.P. getting cozy with Whyteboy from Season 1 ... so it seems Sister Pat is not only looking for men for her daughter, she's more than happy to take some leftovers ...SMGDH again ...
MIDGET MAC made an appearance and was all up in Sister Patterson's grill as well. It was all love on stage and he says he gets much props from the Little People World ... as well as Big People ... who all see him as a regular man. Yea for Midget Mac ...
Next up was WOLF .. who's only remembered because, in an effort to save his ass from being eliminated in the first couple of episodes, revealed to NY that he had a big you-know-what. When Sister Patterson asked him to put his penis where his mouth was (figuratively, not literally), he didn't whip it out.
When LaLa posed the challenge again on the reunion show, he acted ready to show and prove. Sister Pat escorted him behind a screen (which showed his silhouette) and after a lame ass attempt at strip-dancing, he still wouldn't show it ... trying to save face by saying "I don't pull it out unless I'm gonna use it." (Boooooo at him for being a tease!)
Next up was THE ENTERTAINER. The 29-year-old toe-sucker who still lives with his parents and doesn't plan to leave anytime soon. His overbearing parents were also in attendance at the reunion. After a montage at his parents' house showing how he lives (and sleeps .. IN a DAYBED .. WTF?) ... We relive the Jerry Springer episode between Sister Pat, NY and The Entertainer's parents. The only thing I learned from his re-appearance was that he'd never sucked toes before ... Yeah, like I believe that one.
Next we hear from the other two in the top 3 ... PUNK and BUDDHA. Punk seems to have taken a flat iron to his hair and it looked more like a throwback 60's haircut than his natural curls, but hey, whatever. Both of them had suit coats on but I must say, red is NOT Punk's color.
Of course the two men played the sore losers and attacked NY's final choice - TAILOR MADE, calling him a puppy and much less than the real men they claimed to be.
Then they turned on NY calling her out for saying she was in love with all three of them. After they got everything off their chiseled chests, they made amends with NY. Buddha even cracked a smile (which was kinda eerie).
For some reason, PRETTY decided to chime in and put his 2 cents in about Buddha and Punk. Showing much love, saying they were his "boys" in the house. I personally believe the notion that PRETTY (who was the finest man in the house to me) is a little fruity, and his amour for his homies didn't help his case.
Another contestant (who I can't even remember) called Pretty out for being a little punkish and that's when Buddha stepped up and started taking his jacket off to defend his boy's honor. It was quite homo-erotic. Buddha finally calmed down and the nameless guy was escorted off stage since he couldn't shut up. Madness ... A Hot Ass Mess if you will .. SMH.
Finally, after the aforementioned foolishness we get to hear from the winner -- TAILOR MADE. He came out to very few cheers from the fellas but who cares, because he won the prize, right? After a video clip montage of his ups and downs in the house, the men were able to let T.M. know just how they felt about him. BUDDHA overtalked TAILOR most of the time he was up on the hot seat. I was like dude, you had your turn, please HUSH! BUDDHA hit T.M. with a slew of insults, calling him a punk and a puppy and telling him he was not a man. Look, the dude won, get over it. Seems BUDDHA really DID like NY and is still a bit crushed that he was "played" after pouring his heart out to her on national TV.
Next to get their punches in was MR. WISE, who damn near killed TM after TM spit on him. He chanted that he saved TM's life by being the bigger man. Then not even two minutes later hit a SuperMan dive and landed on top of TM, knocking his chair over. Security was prompt in removing him from the room.
After a couple more men got their jabs in (like PUNK saying he was more man than TM and then announcing to the world that he was single and looking) ... and MR. WISE flipped out (literally), NY and TM were reunited.
They then revealed that they didn't follow the show's rules and moved in together just three days after the finale, instead of keeping apart for nearly six months like they were told. NY and TM were as giddy as school girls, making out and cheesing the entire interview.
Then TM hands NY a silver gift box that contained his divorce papers. His divorce is final and he's free to be with (and marry) MISS NY. He then produced the infamous engagement ring he presented her with at the finale (which she rejected but said they could try it in 2 years) and asked her again to marry him.
She accepted, showering him with love and affection and begging him to put the ring on her finger. Then reminiscent of her TANGO proposal said "Are you serious" AFTER she put the ring on.
(Will she ever learn?). I mean TM would hide a dead body for her ass .. C'mon .. he's SERIOUS girl.
After the engagement, La La wraps the show up and TM hoists NY in his arms and stumbles .. I mean walks off with her backstage ... THE END.
No penis ... Not much blood ... and the Fight was a mere punk ass jump. BOOOO for teasing me and me believing it lol ...
WHAT NEXT IN REALITY TV?
A spinoff of Tila's show, one of the contestants .. a strange Italian named Domenico will be getting his own show (Think Flav helps NY find love lol) and it'll be called "That's Amore!" (gag me now!) ... and another former contestant with a stalkerish flair will be helping him find love. Both shows will debut in the Spring.
Some other shows will be seeing yet ANOTHER season in the coming months:
Flavor Flav is hoping the 3rd times a charm after both Bootz (from Season 1) and Deelishus (from Season 2) whored themselves out to the public more than they did HIM ... Flavor of Love 3 debuts February 11th ... as does Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels ... (SMH) ...
Also expect season 2 of The Salt and Pepa Show (which I never finished watching in Season 1) AND My Fair Brady 3 where Christopher Knight is demanding a baby from his Top Model wife. All THESE shows will hit VH1 next month.
And if you're a MAKING THE BAND fan .. There will be 5th season. But don't worry, we won't have to endure Cheesecake runs and tearful eliminations. Diddy is moving both the bands and his solo MTB4 star, Donnie, into a house together to see who will get more album sales. Danity Kane has a mild head start (I never liked the girls ... sorry) but the world is DYING for a good male group right now, so I'm hoping the UNNAMED boy band will drown those hyenas .. I mean chicks .. OUT .. LOL ... MTB5 debuts January 28th.
That's all people (ain't that ENOUGH? LOL) ... but stay tuned!
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